@mollzbenn: I made a grocery list last night when I was drunk and it just says "healthy stuff," "looob," and "you don't own me."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heymonroe: There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
@ch000ch: therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u