@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
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@Sassafrantz: If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you.
@Love_bug1016: [first date] Him: I want to marry someone who knows what commitment is. Me: (trying to impress) I haven't put my phone down in 5 years.