@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
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@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"
@kristinb5150: being in a club at my age feels more like i'm being set-up for an episode of "To Catch a Predator"
@Milla_Jacobs: I wish I had trained flies that would fly into the mouths of people who chew with their mouths open
@trevso_electric: Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years