@AnkCoupleTO: I made my will yesterday and had to make my lawyer the beneficiary because my estate will just about cover his bill
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@ThePawfessor: eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying.
@zachreinert03: I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate
@Black__Elvis: My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan.