@jimmy_sharpe: I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
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@AristotlesNZ: Congrats on the wedding dude. A present? Na man, everyone brings a present. I brought a past. Remember your ex-fiance Jan? Jan! come say hi.
@desolateson: I slept under the Christmas tree once when I was 9 waiting for Santa. And once when I was 37 waiting for the room to stop spinning.
@batkaren: Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.