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@jimmy_sharpe: I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
@iQuoteComedy: "Are you ok?" "No, I'm bleeding because its fun."
@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
@illTortuga: "Hey, wanna hangout?" "Later." "Now?" "No, later" "How about now?" "Jesus christ." -if Adobe Updater was your friend
@nbadag: [moments after time traveling to 1863]
LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago
ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL