@SRbeta: I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.
This one just told me i was adopted :(
@kelkulus: The US Defense budget is 40x bigger than NASA's. It's surprising we actually went to the moon instead of blowing it up.
@adultblackmale: [i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on
@HomeProbably: A lollipop is like a normal lipop but it laughs a lot.
@AGreaterMonster: Fruitcake is like marriage. It takes two things that are great on their own and mashes them together into one thing that sucks.
@Mr_Bum_to_You: I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.