@ShortWhiteNUgly: I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.
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@Vodkantots: I bet if that Malaysian plane had stolen tweets, some of you guys would've found it already.
@FrenulumBreve: Crocodile: "See ya later alligator." Alligator: "yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."
@shariv67: I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance.
@LeonEarlgrey: They say love is worth more than money. But I'm pretty sure my landlord is gona want more than a hug.