@ShortWhiteNUgly: I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.
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@BrandonVine: I bet when Kanye was little he played tag by himself, then argued with himself on whether he was tagged or not.
@Home_Halfway: A family of ducks walks into a church. "Hi, yes, umm...I hear you have a man who turned his body into bread?" The father asks timidly.
@wife_housy: Being a mom means being the first one up in the morning, the last one to bed at night, and the only one drinking during church.