@kevinrowe1: I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
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@Home_Halfway: COP: You're allowed 1 phone call ME: I'm gonna call your mom & tell on you for arresting me COP: *nervously sweating* Why would you do that
@TheCiscoKidder: A fine piece of art is like a fine piece of ass, I don't understand either one but I want to take both home and mount them against the wall.
@samfromks: *Enters $100 daily Fitbit challenge* *Pays marathon runner $20 to wear my Fitbit* *Buys $80 worth of donuts*
@heidi420x: Not to brag, but I parallel parked without hitting anything, taking 15 mins, or winding up on the sidewalk. No cars were around, but still.