@discountzen: I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police.
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@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?
@SirFlushaLot: "This is wrong on sooo many levels" I say to my victims as I rob them at gun point on elevators.
@NotThatNixon: Praying that Donald Trump is really just Ashton Kutcher performing his most elaborate prank yet.