@BadMikeyBad: I may be weird, but everyone needs a buddy who will show up at 2 a.m. and help get the dead zebra out of the septic tank without judging you
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@causticbob: When your prospective father-in-law asks:"Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?" Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"
@krisv_723: Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it.
@TheCiscoKidder: My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn.