@Matt_The_1st: I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great
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@rockymomax: [i bite into an apple and a swarm of bees comes flying out] "this gives me an idea for a restaurant"
@LoveNLunchmeat: [reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*
@iamopeimu: My Ex works in a pharmacy,so whenever i want to spoil her mood I wil just go there and buy condom for no reason sometimes i go 3 times a day
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"