Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@vexroid: I may not be book smart or street smart and I may not have much common sense and I'm really not sure where I was going with this.

I may not be book smart or street smart and I may not have much common sense and I’m really not sure where I was going with this.
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@Elizasoul80: How to get a guys attention: 1. Take off your shirt 2. Be a TV

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@mattZillaaaa: Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship

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@sarcasm_inc: Me: I'm hot blooded check it and see got a fever of 103! 911: Did u call earlier about having a bad case of loving me? M: maybe 911: stop

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@orange_rhymer: *armadillo comes rolling back in the ball return* "Wait.. if you're here, then..." *cut to wife sobbing at bowling ball* "UNCURL, FREDRICK!"

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