@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
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@LeviathanPride: Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?
@WilliamAder: If they want to increase the use of public transit, they should start using a scale at the DMV license renewal counter.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: Can I have some more Easter candy? Me: After lunch 4yo: I want lunch right now. I'm starving!! Me: We just ate breakfast 4yo: Starving!