@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
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@Social_Mime: I've been asked why I like dogs more than people. Short answer: My dog has never included me in a group text.
@squirrel74wkgn: I’ve heard the jokes and the laughter as people drove past my house in July, but who’s laughing NOW? *plugs in Xmas lights*
@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"