@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
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@BiscuitFloater: Pro tip: Next time you're at a bar, go up to a woman & whisper "Hey, wanna get outta here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@De_ja_vu_who: I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what's coming next.. It's your turn to do the laundry
@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements