@Kori_Okie: I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
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@eminmien: AMULET: Touch me, and be cursed for eternity!! ME: [picks it up] I feel fine. AMULET: uh, I'm trying but- I can't make ur life any worse.
@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
@NoogsCorner: Am I annoying yet? How about now? Now? Now? Now? How about now? Now? Now? Now? Maybe now? Now? Now? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow?
@RoosterMustache: [having sex] ME: oh yeah do you like that HER: faster! ME: *like an auctioneer* doyoulikethat-isee$5foryes-$5foryes-doisee$10-$10foryes