@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.
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@HeidiGolightly: Do I still have feelings for my ex husband? Yes. I think "stabby" is a feeling, right?
@TheBoydP: I had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal for the first time in a long time last weekend. The roof of my mouth should be healed in a few days.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: In the future, can you please put the seat down? Me: Now I gotta be a time traveler for you?