@trumpetcake: I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal "Rewards Dagger" that gets me a discount everywhere.
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@brendohare: My girlfriend does not want to split the gallon of milk I smuggled into the movie theater for us 😔
@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
@vexroid: Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for.