@balleronabidet: I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jacob_swift16: Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, social shame and everyone thinking you're an idiot
@iwearaonesie: "you yelled 'this is not my daddy!' when i picked you up to leave the store. you're lucky i let you live" -how dad signs my birthday cards
@JessicaVarsity: I just leaped over a 3ft tall dog gate with the skill and grace of an olympian to get a snack from microwave. *Adds track star to resume*