@LoveNLunchmeat: I miss being a kid and playing cowboys and Indians. Now whenever I chase people around with a tomahawk I get arrested.
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@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
@seamussaid: teaching my 1yo daughter to shout "Mike Wazowski!" every time someone opens a closet door
@clindsaysway: Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die.