@LizHackett: I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.
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@Prof_Hinkley: Me: it's annoying sitting so close to the office copier Dan from the next cubicle: it's annoying sitting so close to the office copier
@AliceGolightly_: Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
@onelongbender: I don't think I get enough credit in my family for making my siblings look successful.
@juneohara65: Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.