@TimB5150: I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!
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@Reverend_Scott: Me: Jimi Hendrix? Daughter: Who? Me: Beatles? Daughter: Who? Me: Doors? Daughter: Who? Me: Justin Bieber? Daughter: Hate him. Me: Thank God.
@PhilJamesson: [Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME
@eminmien: "What do you get if you cross a monkey and a lion?" I glance nervously over to the basement door, afraid she's seen something she shouldn't.
@HousewifeOfHell: An enterprising neighborhood kid started a business to fill in all those grownup coloring books for us. I feel more relaxed already.