@TimB5150: I miss the days if you were angry while on the phone, you could slam it down without costing $400!
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@kentgrossarth: Accidentally dialed 911 so I set my neighbor's house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid.
@kiel_phillips: INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What's the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?
@NicestHippo: *runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? "I'm a doctor" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor
@KalvinMacleod: DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection ME: wow, I feel like I’m in a DATE: no ME: mewseum DAD: *nods his approval*