@DanRegans: I miss the old days when I could say I wasn't around and you couldn't check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
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@KalvinMacleod: [skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea.
@Talkinghands69: When your boss says "you're getting a little behind," he won't appreciate it when you wink and say "been working out-thanks for noticing."
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.