@tigersgoroooar: I miss when the most stressful thing about my day was Gargamel.
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@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."
@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?
@TechnicallyRon: Remember at school when you would press 'demo' on the electric piano and pretend you were really playing it? That's what adulthood is.
@PaperWash: Man's guide for a selfie: 1) Squint your eyes like your cool 2) Look off into the distance 3) Put your phone down 4) Don't take the selfie