@icrushedmyhalo: I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
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@scott_towel: Convicted of murdering the English language, he was sentenced to death by elocution.
@sparklepants4: its raining men! hallelu..*thud* omg are you ok? *thud* oh sweet jesus! *thud* *thud* oh the horror! *thud* WHY GOD? WHYYYY??
@UncleDuke1969: Government Shutdown: Day 13 Anthony Weiner decides to help. He takes a photo. He tweets. Congress now sees where balls are located.
@KentWGraham: How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?