@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.
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@badbanana: Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?
@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.
@Doc_Jyoti: Women's Magazines: Pg 1. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20kg in 10 days.
@ChrisScarlette: [being robbed] Me: careful.. I'm ARMED *whips out bible Robber: lol *pulls gun out of bible R: oh *pulls smaller bible out of gun