@WomensHumor: I missed your birthday because I didn't log onto Facebook that day. #LetsBeReal
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Watch closely as the husband quietly approaches the calm children, riles them up into a frenzy, then slyly escapes to watch football.
@AmishPornStar1: I don't know why I always end up behind the old lady who is trying to do a reverse mortgage on her home at the ATM.
@iamledgin: Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal - decide which type of annoying person you want to be.