@bourgeoisalien: I misspelled "marriage" and Auto Correct changed it to "mirage." What do you know that I don't, Auto Correct?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Home_Halfway: WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.
@OutrageousM: I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.
@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
@SwedishCanary: Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off.