@bourgeoisalien: I misspelled "marriage" and Auto Correct changed it to "mirage." What do you know that I don't, Auto Correct?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weinerdog4life: Listen buddy, I don't know why I'm doing karate in your bedroom either, sometimes things happen
@KrunkedRobot: A kid at the park is wearing a Joker shirt, I am going to slowly take my coat off revealing my Batman T and shit is about to get real.
@i_wasnt_looking: I can't stand fake people. Unless you're with me and we are faking that we are sober for a cop. Then you need to be Oscar winning fake.
@samalmightysam: That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery.