@vivalacrap: I mix up the Marvel and DC universes on purpose just for the angry sex
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness? Me: ha nice try I: excuse me? M: that's how Lex Luthor beat Superman. I'm not stupid.
@Vodkantots: When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."