@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.
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@MinchinRob: GF: I'm sick of communicating via walkie talkies. I think we should breakup ME: we should breakup what? OVER GF: its over ME: its what? OVER
@Brampersandon_: BAD GUY (hiding in my back seat): *strangling me to death* ME: *choking but still embarrassed he heard me singing that shania twain song*
@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
@HeyZeus666: I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like.