@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.
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@therealeatwood: [I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do
@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying
@Breadery: Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?
@abhorrent_wife: All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty.