@abbycohenwl: I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed
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@wickedimproper: Day One, living in one of those tiny houses: "Well, isn't this quaint?" Day Two: Murder
@Matt_The_1st: Not to brag or anything, but I scored 4 points on flappy bird before my phone mysteriously flung itself across the room
@moose_chocolate: Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be.
@dorkwing_duck: Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED! Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?