@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
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@EndhooS: Me: I wish u'd bring back my 1st pet Genie: No blood magic Me: I wish politicians had to tell the truth Genie: [sigh] what was ur pets name?
@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@CherBear162: An example of men's inability to understand women - Me: I have Nothing To Wear!! Him: Awesome!