@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
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@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.
@thenatewolf: J.R.R. Tolkien invented an entire language for the elves but where the hobbits live is called Hobbiton.
@ariscott: I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.
@Rollinintheseat: I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious.