@KelgoreTrout: i named my first son "christian" and i named his twin brother "born-again christian"
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@causticbob: "He looks just like his grandfather" is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it's more of an accusation
@LurkAtHomeMom: I start each day with a green smoothie. Wait, no, the bartender's saying it's called a "Mojito."
@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year