@KelgoreTrout: i named my first son "christian" and i named his twin brother "born-again christian"
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@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@davidkenny100: American: I was just at a shotgun wedding Me: How far pregnant was the bride? American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant
@tedalexandro: We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to.