@KelgoreTrout: i named my first son "christian" and i named his twin brother "born-again christian"
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@greenteam15: My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
@LilBlueBlood: Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon
@lafpgh: Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures.
@Paxochka: I'm 5'5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.