@Ristolable: I named my son Kidding Me so whenever people say "Are you kidding me" he has to say yes. This is a bad joke thanks for your time
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*
@therealeatwood: JUDGE: I sentence you to 2 consecutive life sentences [60 yrs later: convict dies, is reincarnated] COP: This baby camel is under arrest
@FishySnowborder: I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry.