@zakagan: I named my two kids Madness and Sparta, and boy do I love introducing them to people
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@AmishPornStar1: Cupcakes are for people who don't have the dedication and stamina to eat a whole cake! Losers.
@CaniacMONK: My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
@HeyZeus666: Now 91 is waving his diaper over his head while 86 is running down the street naked with 79's pants. Working in the old folks home is hard.