@NintenDom: I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.
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@girl_a_whirl: [ER] *covered in blood holding eyeball Name? Stacy What's wrong? *nods to eyeball Looking at the chart, rate your pain I'm the winky face
@sixthformpoet: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him.
@whalesmells: You're the apple of my eye. The grape of my elbow. The lemon of my foot. The banana of my hair. My sweet hair banana.
@WilliamAder: Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.