@NintenDom: I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.
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@Tmoney68: Just saw a man wearing a pager. Apparently, he's expecting a very important call from someone in 1994.
@Home_Halfway: I always have a nightlight on when I go to bed in case someone breaks in and wants to see how cute I look when I'm sleeping.
@Honda_954: Two cannibals are eating Dane Cook. One says to the other, "does this taste funny", the other replies "No".
@internetluke: [two female cops come to arrest me but I am hiding in the men's bathroom] Haha "What do we do?"