@Funny_Truth: I need a 6 month vacation, twice a year
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@LizHackett: A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, "Your technique is flawless."
@tigersgoroooar: waiter: any questions? me: did courtney kill kurt?? him: uh, about the menu? me: LOL i seriously doubt she killed him about the menu
@aPunch2theJunk: HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper "You should have killed me when you had the chance" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you.