@MEQ_777: I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?
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@AsgardianRose: Autocorrect changed "panic attack" to "pancake attack" and now I'm hysterical AND hungry.
@Laser_Cat: In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it's space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?
@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
@jeffswarens: After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"