@MEQ_777: I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?
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@Tommassh: *looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*
@JRehling: So, Noah found two polar bears in the Mideast? And after the flood, he took them back to Canada? That sounds plausible. #GodScience
@EvilSchwartzie: In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min.
@jngraphs: Wife: Where are you going? Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got? Five?