@MEQ_777: I need a bad ass dress for Friday night. Anybody know where I can find a Forever 41?
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@isabelzawtun: "3 FOR 1 TACOS, TODAY ONLY" I shout into the megaphone. the crowd watches with bated breath. "I'm coming down," the man on the ledge shouts
@dshack8: I'm the guy in the meeting giving coworkers the throat slash motion when the boss says "Anybody have anything else 2 add before we adjourn?"
@Mr_Kapowski: Wife: *from inside the closet* “Should I wear my mink coat?” Me: *adjusting cuff links and cummerbund in the mirror* “Jesus Christ, honey. We’re going to Target, not Walmart. Of course wear the mink”
@SondraDeeMe: What’s the statute of limitations when you think of a comeback for an insult? Please say 17 years.