@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
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@LoveNLunchmeat: I married a smart, funny, handsome accountant, but let's be honest, mostly I was hoping to never have to do math again.
@myonlymizztake: Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer.
@JRehling: God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis.
@ZingingCutie: If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet.