@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
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@honeybadgerMel: I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone.
@BigRadMachine: Y'all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.
@HatfieldAnne: Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now.
@Matt_The_1st: Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles