@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
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@causticbob: I've been attending Acronym Anonymous meetings recently. Or as I like to call it AA. I'm not making a lot of progress.
@SortaBad: How to sleep: 1. Lay down 2. Dim lights 3. Dwell about literally every mistake you've made in your life for 6 hours 4. Rest for 9 minutes
@mantej: God was truly looking out for me today — I opened a bag of air and found a few Lay’s potato chips inside.