@ClearlyUnwell: I need a hobby where I say stuff and people follow me around.
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@P1ssed_K1d: I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
@MummaCrazy: 10 just informed me that exercising releases inner-dolphins. If that's not a reason to exercise, then I don't know what is.
@SocialBitterfly: *one day before marriage* Parents: Don't talk to the groom. Don't see him. Don't think. *one day after marriage* Parents: BABIES, BABIESS!
@ArfMeasures: SON: What's a sex tape? ME: Er well when er a man & a woman have er intercourse they S: No M: No? S: Dad. I know what sex is. What's a tape?