@pakalupapito: i need a hug(e amount of cash money)
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@rachj0919: i hate when guys cancel a date after i've already shaved and then i have to spend all that time gluing it back on
@Ygrene: [in bed] me: was that thunder? wife: i didn’t hear anything dog: [checking Dog Handbook] “in case of thunder, or any sound resembling thunder, stand directly on the nearest human head”
@LibelousLurker: My kids can't play at your house because they might begin to think laundry doesn't live on the couch.