@markhoppus: I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."
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@gobmentcheese: I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, "I read what you said on the internet."
@HatfieldAnne: And when I looked back, there were no footprints in the sand at all. What kind of beach are you running here?
@SocialExtortion: How many drinks do I buy a girl if I want her to come home with me and clean up my room?
@ComedicBust: Role playing is fun, but I'm starting to wonder why my girlfriend will only let me dress up as my brother Randy.