@pakalupapito: i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild.
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@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.
@BeardSpice: [sitting in doctor's office] It's bad news. You have a rare case of contagious memory loss. "What do you mean?" I can't remember.
@BadJordon: Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry.
@LorieGZ: I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?