@pakalupapito: i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild.
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@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine, I would go back to the day we first let my daughter watch SpongeBob SquarePants and just destroy our TV
@tastefactory: ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit
@amishschool: Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people.
@philmann: PILOT: if you look out the window you'll see we're cruising at 35,000 feet [i look out the window] [THE SKY IS FULL OF FEET JESUS CHRIST]