@abbycohenwl: I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there
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@FartInASkillet: Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I've decided it's basically cyber-hoarding...
@SexytotheNorth: The Cheesecake Factory is finally coming to Canada! ...now I can stop being so nice to the Americans.
@iwearaonesie: wife [text] I'm so proud of you for sticking to your diet me [can't respond because there's powdered donut on my fingers]