@MsSugar_Kisses: I need to chat with my coworker's husband.. If he was bangin' her properly, we wouldn't have to deal with her bad attitude..
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@SirEviscerate: [JAN 1] *tears off Dec 2016 calendar page* [JANUARY 2016, Part 2] What? *flips* [YOU DIDN'T THINK] *flips* [2016 WOULD END, DID YOU?!] NOO!!
@Dr_awfulpants: [Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife never catches me scoping out the hot chick because she's too busy judging the hot chick.