@junejuly12: I need to hide the teen’s birthday present where he’ll never find it so I’m thinking behind the vacuum cleaner will be perfect.
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@CarpeAngela: My whole life feels like that feeling you get when you take a multiple choice test and the answer you got isn't one of the choices listed
@okimstillhungry: “Do you want to hold my baby?” Yeah nice try. You got yourself into this mess you hold your own damn baby.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: I made quiche, like a real grown-up. I feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway when he makes fire... I HAVE MADE QUICHE!