@jake_lach: I need to lay off the caffeine. My neighbor keeps complaining that I'm tackling her much more than usual
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@Storminika: I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, "don't do this"
@UnFitz: Her idea of extending an olive branch was to sharpen one end first, then extend it REALLY hard.
@RoosterMustache: WIFE: omg the FBI ME: thats just female body inspectors W: why are they here M: probably all those female bodies we buried W: o yah lol
@PaperWash: "are you sure these x-rays are safe?" [doctor 12 feet away behind a lead wall] you're fine