@DearAuntAbby: I need to pick up a random hunky guy in a bar, bring him home, have him invite a friend, and THEN mention that I need furniture rearranged
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MickSnark: Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
@david8hughes: [first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water.
@SteveSuckington: [comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?