@Freudianscript: I need to start paying more attention when i'm talking to myself.
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@theroyaltramp: Why don't I have Snapchat? Because I don't want to talk to anyone let alone have to look good while doing it.
@junejuly12: [Coffee line] *Sees cute barista* *Twirls hair* No whipped cream please *Sees his backward sunglasses* *Drops hand* Never mind. Load it up.
@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@Bownuggets: DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life.