@KayRants: I need to stop seeing caution tape as some kind of finish line.
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@nerdreign: If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
@samalmightysam: • You're born. • You grow up. • You believe in Santa. • You stop believing in Santa. • You look like Santa. • You are Santa. • You die.
@sickipediabot: Breaking News ..... international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven't got anything to wear
@david8hughes: [Joseph & Mary answers door to god] "Mary, you're looking well." [Joseph puts arm around Mary & raises an eyebrow] "Jesus, your dad's here."