@ItsAndyRyan: If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.

@TheFunnyWorId: I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

@TheBoydP: Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*

@TheFearBoners: So PSY's song "Dear American" includes the lyric "Kill them all slowly and painfully" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about.

@Reverend_Scott: *dramatically gets out of bean bag chair for 20 minutes*