@SumReecesPieces: "I need to talk to you." Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever.
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@mellimelle: It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion.
@jeannes_jargon: Facebook: Essential oils. Snapchat: I'm a bunny! Instagram: I ate a hamburger. Twitter: THIS COUNTRY IS BURNING TO THE GROUND.