@mishakey: I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you.
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@dubiousgenius: So, I need an aquaculture licence to keep fish in a barrel and a firearms licence to shoot them. This is not as easy as I was led to believe
@ThatBrenna: People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive.
@iamspacegirl: My son loves lizard facts but he can't quite say 'lizard' so he randomly makes statements like "Wizards protect themselves with camouflage".